Standing in My Own Shoes

Disclaimer.
Just a thought. I do apologize for those feeling offended by this thought.

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I'm the eldest daughter of 3 in my little family.  Thus, everything that I say or do, mostly shall be followed by my sisters.  In other way, I'm such a role model for them.

Being the eldest one, and being raised in such a discipline environment, made me become such an independent humanbeing.  I don't use to rely on others.  If I have a chance or ability to do something, I'll do that by myself.  And I'll do that hard. *with an exception wich is eating outside and watching a movie in theater.  Hell no, I can't do that alone by myself. 

This habit is carried in every part of my life.  Including my romance life.  I use to take responsibility of my own thing, or split a joined responsibility in justice.  For instance.

When I go shopping with my.., just consider my partner, I'll take my shopping bags and my handbag by myself.  Unless I feel overwhelmed by my shopping bags, I'll take care of all of it by myself.  You know, I feel bad for guys carrying his girl's handbag.  It's just not right, I think.  And I won't let him to do so, unless for several of my shopping bags.

When we go for brunch, lunch or dinner, I'll pay for myself.  It doesn't mean that every time we eat, we shall split the bill on the spot.  We'll alternately pay for the meal.  Once for me, once for him.  It also works on watching movies, or karaoke, or buying stuff I wanted or needed, or other activity consuming money.  I mean, I have a work now, and I've earned money for living.  Besides, I know how much money does it cost to be spent on my expenditures.  I may not conduct something that I can't afford to.

I'm not saying that I want my partner to let me do everything by myself.  Of course I love being showered by attention, affection, or understanding from my partner.  But as long as I know that I'm still able to bring my own handbag or pay my bill, I'd prefer to do so by myself.

I know what size of shoes that I use, that fits me like a glove.  And as long as I could, I'll work my ass-off, to be standing in my own shoes.