Kamis, 15 Januari 2015

Setahun Berselang

15 Januari 2014

Ketika itu, aku anak baru.  Clingak-clinguk di tempat yang terasa awam bagiku.  Jam menunjukkan pukul 7 ketika ku jejakkan kaki di tempat itu.  Lantai 17 sebuah gedung bertingkat, yang dihiasi ornamen-ornamen sederhana layaknya perkantoran pada umumnya.

Dipertemukanku dengan 9 pemuda/pemudi seusiaku, yang kelak tak ada pernah ada putusnya mengisi sebagian besar hariku.  Sekumpulan manusia baik, dipenuhi keragaman sifat nan apik.  Meskipun sikap itu tak lantas muncul di muka, namun tak pula terlambat aku menyadarinya.  Untungnya.

Sedari awal aku putuskan, akan ku gelarkan mereka sebagai para sahabat.  Yang tak hanya kubutuhkan ketika aku dipanggil atasan.  Yang tak hanya muncul ketika dilaksanakan rapat-rapat koordinasi dan pembinaan.  Yang tak hanya bertegur sapa sebatas senyum dan anggukan kepala.

Ya, mereka tak hanya sebatas itu saja.  Dengan merekalah aku berbagi suka.  Dengan merekalah aku mengurangi duka.  Merajut mimpi bersama, merangkai asa, tuk senantiasa mengabdi pada negara tercinta, Indonesia.

***

11 Agustus 2014

Kali itu, aku kembali menjadi anak baru.  Lantai 9 gedung yang sama, tanpa 9 pemuda/pemudi kesayangan ada di sisiku.  Masing-masing ada di tempat yang baru.  Sebagian masih dalam jangkauan pandanganku, sebagian di tanah yang baru.  Sumpah setia sebagai abdi negaralah yang mencerai-beraikan raga kami.  Sumpah yang telah terucap pada sebuah institusi yang mempertemukan kami.

Sedih? Tentu sedih.  Namun, tak perlu rasanya ku tunjukkan rasa sedih yang tak kunjung bergeming dr benakku, yang terus memicu ingatanku akan mereka disana.  Sebab aku yakin, kiranya jalan inilah yang terbaik untuk masing-masing diri kami.

Ku putuskan, ku kembali mencari pemuda/pemudi baru, yang setidaknya dapat mengisi hari-hari ditempat baruku. Walau tentunya, tak dapat pemuda/pemudi baru ini menggantikan kesembilan pemuda/pemudi baik para sahabatku tersebut.

Keseharian tanpa mereka, tak menyurutkan derap langkahku di tempat baru.  Sembari senantiasa berdoa, agar sesekali diperkenankan bertemu kembali.  Dalam sejumlah moment bahagia, yang terkadang diselingi awan duka.  Sebagaimana yang telah digariskan oleh-Nya, untuk kami tekuni, jalani, nikmati.

***

15 Januari 2015

Setahun telah berganti sejak pertama kalian kukenali.
Setahun telah berlalu sejak ku rapal nama kalian satu persatu.
Setahun telah terlewat sejak ku kukuhkan kalian sebagai sahabat.
Setahun telah terlampaui sejak kalian mewarnai hari-hari.
Setahun telah berselang, menanti kehadiran tahun-tahun yang akan datang.



Kamis, 08 Januari 2015

Standing in My Own Shoes

Disclaimer.
Just a thought. I do apologize for those feeling offended by this thought.

***

I'm the eldest daughter of 3 in my little family.  Thus, everything that I say or do, mostly shall be followed by my sisters.  In other way, I'm such a role model for them.

Being the eldest one, and being raised in such a discipline environment, made me become such an independent humanbeing.  I don't use to rely on others.  If I have a chance or ability to do something, I'll do that by myself.  And I'll do that hard. *with an exception wich is eating outside and watching a movie in theater.  Hell no, I can't do that alone by myself. 

This habit is carried in every part of my life.  Including my romance life.  I use to take responsibility of my own thing, or split a joined responsibility in justice.  For instance.

When I go shopping with my.., just consider my partner, I'll take my shopping bags and my handbag by myself.  Unless I feel overwhelmed by my shopping bags, I'll take care of all of it by myself.  You know, I feel bad for guys carrying his girl's handbag.  It's just not right, I think.  And I won't let him to do so, unless for several of my shopping bags.

When we go for brunch, lunch or dinner, I'll pay for myself.  It doesn't mean that every time we eat, we shall split the bill on the spot.  We'll alternately pay for the meal.  Once for me, once for him.  It also works on watching movies, or karaoke, or buying stuff I wanted or needed, or other activity consuming money.  I mean, I have a work now, and I've earned money for living.  Besides, I know how much money does it cost to be spent on my expenditures.  I may not conduct something that I can't afford to.

I'm not saying that I want my partner to let me do everything by myself.  Of course I love being showered by attention, affection, or understanding from my partner.  But as long as I know that I'm still able to bring my own handbag or pay my bill, I'd prefer to do so by myself.

I know what size of shoes that I use, that fits me like a glove.  And as long as I could, I'll work my ass-off, to be standing in my own shoes.


Jumat, 02 Januari 2015

Turn Back in Time

If you were a cast in a movie as Aladin, and had Genie who will grant a specific wish, which is turning back in time, will you take that wish? 

If I were you, I won’t.  No matter how bad I was in my behavior or my decision, I will never exchange my current condition with anything.  Why?  Does it mean that I don’t have something I regret?  Am I really satisfied with my life? 

Well, it’s a tricky question.  Yes, I do have something I feel regret about.  But that doesn’t mean that I’m not satisfied with my life.  Because I belief that everything happened in my life, was happened for a reason, for so many reasons in fact.  I would never exchange every stories of my life happened in 2014: even for a tiniest part of it; even for a better version of it.  Why?  Because I had those stories as a result for what I’ve given in the entire year, extended with the previous year.

It’s not a big secret that started from January 2014, I officially joined one of the best Ministry in Indonesia.  I’ve been working in Directorate of General Taxes since then, with the following consequences: being assigned for the internship period and for definitive placement (for the next several years) in Jakarta; met and being surrounded by so many great people, some became my best-friends; had a Pra-jabatan training, DTU and DTSD, which tested me in physically and mentally, in leadership and knowledge.  Having those experiences, I simply can ask for no more.  All the hard work I've given on 2013 during the open recruitment process was paid off.  I've worked my ass off for God's sake.

Through the year, both of my younger sisters had their own achievement.  One of them graduated from Faculty of Medicine on late February, and now is having her internship (co-as) in Semarang and Wonogiri; fulfilled my parents biggest dream, which was to have a humble doctor in my family. While my youngest sister, she succeed registering herself as one of Yogyakarta’s residence, just like two of her sisters, by entering Faculty of Law, Gadjah Mada University.  Even though those were not my own achievement, I felt proud of them, and considered that as something that I won’t exchange for anything, bearing in mind that they had sacrificed blood and tear to reach what they've achieved now.

Having my family health in a good condition throughout the year, was something I should be grateful for; to see my Mom, Dad, and my sisters made a wish and blow some candles on their birthday cake without any meaningful illness in their body and soul.

Year of 2014 was also filled with two journey with my Golden Weekend Team, up hill to Baduy Dalam, and down hill to Ujung Kulon.  And as a bonus, even several of its member got married, which happened like a domino, one triggered to another, which the total members to get married were 3 of it.  Such a wake up call for the rest.  In which, led me to another thing to be grateful for.

As my age got older in 2014, meeting some people coloring my day made me realize of what I’ve missed from my college period: that it’s not right to see them solely in one point of view; that each of them had their own kindness and goodness, which was supposed to be easily noticed and loved, including you, the one who considered me as a Mango.

Yes, it’s true that sometime in my 2014, there were some bad moments.  But hey, who don’t?  As long as we manage to deal with it, whether by ourselves or along with companion from people around us.  Just put our head up high, and we should thank God for it.  Those bad moments shall make us become stronger than we think we are.

And this is the conclusion of my New Year post.  I'm gonna say it out loud.

I love my 2014, and I won't change anything of it. So, I don't need any Genie.

I’m here for who I am, for who I was and for who I’ll become.

Thus, welcome 2015, and good bye 2014.